(A BIG BLACK ONE)

  • 3rd
  • October
  • 2014

Learning how to be a wife: Part I

Me:
Do you like brussels sprouts?
Erik:
If they're fried.
Erik:
...in pig fat.
  • 6th
  • August
  • 2014

Maybe, if you ask nicely.

Me:
I wonder if Patty Wagstaff is coming.
Erik:
I hope she does! I wanna meet her! You think she'll sign my chest?
  • 5th
  • August
  • 2014
Rosie murdered a groundhog to death.

Rosie murdered a groundhog to death.

  • 2nd
  • August
  • 2014
Daddy didn’t know what color Elmo was the other day.
Mom, gossiping
  • 1st
  • August
  • 2014

Wha?

Me:
Can I use your car for a few days? I want to fill it with stuff to give to Erik, to bring to NY.
Dad:
Yes, that's why I have that car, to move stuff. And guess what? Everything works!
Me:
Woohoo! That's a nice change.
Mom:
What'd she say?
  • 31st
  • July
  • 2014
Trying to figure out our next move on the way to Dirty Jerz…
Mom: Right is north, and this way is straight.
Me: Can you just look at this map (on your phone)?
Mom: Hmm, Bob Evans.

Trying to figure out our next move on the way to Dirty Jerz…

Mom: Right is north, and this way is straight.

Me: Can you just look at this map (on your phone)?

Mom: Hmm, Bob Evans.

Jackie where did you get this medicine? Is it perfume or sunscreen? Does it still work?
Mom
  • 26th
  • July
  • 2014

Exactly.

Me:
She e-mailed me 2 links to music sites, and she said to pick 5 songs.
Mom:
So tell me what she sent? A link that has 5 songs?
  • 22nd
  • July
  • 2014
That’s pretty! Can you see if it’s on Pinterest?
Mom, backtracking on the interwebz
  • 21st
  • July
  • 2014
Haga-pop Sabop-amin? I haven’t heard of that before… I thought you were sneezing!
Mom, about a man named Hagop Sargisian
  • 19th
  • July
  • 2014

I'm 26

Dad:
Oh, good. My stocks went up.
Me:
Do I have any stocks?
Dad:
I don't know. Did you ever buy any?
Me:
No.
Dad:
Well, then no. You don't. It's like buying candy. If you didn't buy any candy, then you don't have any.
  • 6th
  • July
  • 2014
What should be our monthly budget for ice cream?
Erik
  • 4th
  • July
  • 2014

Okay, I believe ya, but

Erik:
Where were those light bulbs?
Me:
In the closet.
Erik:
I don't remember having light bulbs in the closet.
Me:
We got them at the dollar store. I didn't like the fluorescent ones that were here, so I got these. Remember?
Erik:
That sounds familiar. But my tommy gun don't!
Isn’t it weird how boys don’t know anything? And how peanut butter sticks to the roof of your mouth?
Meggie
  • 1st
  • July
  • 2014

My dad calls me Cupcake.

Dad:
Hey, Cupcake.
Yaya:
I could have a cupcake. Like, if you wanna buy me one.