(A BIG BLACK ONE)

  • 14th
  • April
  • 2014

No.

Mom:
I had her go to your website. Jackie dot erik. I had her go to that, and...
  • 11th
  • April
  • 2014

A dress!

Me:
I like it in navy.
Mom:
You like it in the COLOR navy, you mean?
Me:
No, I mean I like the dress for having enlisted in the U.S. Navy.
  • 8th
  • April
  • 2014
  • 7th
  • April
  • 2014

I think it might be the same weekend

Me:
Is it okay if I use the beach house for a bachelorette gathering the weekend of July 11th?
Mom:
Of course! But when is the 4th of July?
Me:
What?
Mom:
Is that before or after the 4th of July?
Me:
  • 5th
  • April
  • 2014
What do you think of that whole group and stuff and everything?
Mom, about a group of musicians we’re considering for the wedding ceremony
  • 4th
  • April
  • 2014

mama / daughter yoga

  • 3rd
  • April
  • 2014
  • 2nd
  • April
  • 2014

Are you hearing things? Is everything okay?

Mom:
Thanks again for going last night (to have dinner with my brother on his birthday).
Me:
You can stop thanking me now. It's actually making me uncomfortable.
Mom:
Oh, you didn't arrange the restaurant? I thought you arranged the restaurant.
Me:
Did I just say something about the restaurant?
Mom:
No big deal! I'm glad you went, is what I'm saying.
  • 30th
  • March
  • 2014
Tempting, but the other networks have a better signal.

Tempting, but the other networks have a better signal.

Richard’s pretty good. He’s a man-dog. I mean a cat.
Mom
  • 29th
  • March
  • 2014

Because OBAMA. THAT'S why.

Me, shocked:
Is this how much it (my health insurance) costs every month??
Dad:
YES. And your mother's and mine costs TWICE that.
Me, horrified:
What the heck! Why?!?!
Dad:
Because that's OBAMA, Jacquelyn.
  • 26th
  • March
  • 2014

A word of apology to my friends and family for subjecting you to the insane magazine cutting of my past. Check out that precision, though!